Ryan, Anna and I watched a show on TLC the other night called Purity Balls. It was a short documentary on a prom type ball that fathers take their daughters to so they can sign a purity covenant promising to remain pure until their wedding day. The daughters get all dressed up in fancy dresses, get their hair done, and make a huge show of it. The girls are forced by their parents to sign these covenants.
There was one girl on the show that was interviewed that got pregnant when she was 17 ( i think). She got pregnant the first time she had sex and she was disowned by her parents. She ended up having a miscarriage at the beginning of her pregnancy and her parents were not there to support her. She is now living with her boyfriend and is not accepted by her parents because she had sex the 1 time and got pregnant.
In theory this is not a horrible idea. A covenant can be a reminder to stay pure until marriage, however, a covenant that was signed out of force is not going to do anything. Disowning a child because they made a mistake and got pregnant is not going to make the pregnancy go away. We are supposed to love our children unconditionally. Pregnancy, especially in a teenager, is a very emotional time and calls for a lot of support. More than likely, they are already ashamed and disappointed that it happened. Why make them feel worse?
I have recently heard stories of girls who were afraid to have sex on their wedding night because they were always told that sex was a SIN. That is was BAD. These girls were mentally and physically unable to have sex because of their fears. This was a night that they had waited for for so long and they were unable to enjoy because of fear. I understand we need to teach that sex is a sin OUTSIDE of marriage and that we are too remain pure for our husbands, but simply teaching it is a SIN no matter what is not doing any good. As a church we need to make sure that young girls and boys know that even if they make that mistake they will still be loved and accepted in the church and hopefully in their families.
I could probably go on and on about this because I was so amazed by it but I will end now. The show will air again on November 12 & 13th on TLC. You should check it out.
I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this!
1 comment:
I totally agree with you! Parents are called to love their children. How are you showing your child that you love them, when you disown them. We all make mistakes, and everyone is deserving of a second chance. What's done is done, all anyone can do is move forward, and realize that God is watching over them, and taking care of them through it all!
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